


Turn of the Page

by moonphase9



Series: Death Note: Turn of the Page [1]
Category: Death Note, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 1930s, Bigotry, Britain, Gen, Ghosts, Haunting, Homophobia, Horror, Implied Incest, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mental Illness, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Past Character Death, Religion, The Turn of The Screw, Unhealthy Relationships, gothic horror, in the closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 09:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17659964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonphase9/pseuds/moonphase9
Summary: Matsuda, a poor but cheerful American boy, is sent to England to be the tutor of a pair of brothers - Matt and Mello. However, Matsuda's mind begins to crack; is the house haunted by two former lovers competing for the children? Or is Matsuda slowly going insane?





	Turn of the Page

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this story was set into twenty-seven chapters. However, I realised that it would probably be more practical to put a number of chapters together and upload it in one section, and post the entire story as a series.
> 
> So I've uploaded nine chapters as one. If you were reading before and are frustrated to find you will have to scroll through to find your place, worry not, I have labelled each section with a Roman Numeral to each chapter (I,II,III,IV,V, etc.).

**I**

 

 

**Los Angeles 1934**

Misa-Misa, the dance hall queen, arrived back in L.A after a month long holiday in the Caribbean to find a black envelop awaiting her. It had been pressed down with an old fashioned seal and the stamp was evidence that it had come from England.

_Dear Mistress,_

_I am afraid to say that I am the bearer of bad news. Our newest in-house tutor has died. It was another suicide Madam. There is even more bad news, more death… the death of someone you loved so please brace yourself Madam. We are not sure of everything that transpired between them but…_

As she read on, Misa gasped slightly and fell backwards, conveniently into an arm chair. "Oh no," she whined, putting her hand to her head. "Oh dear. What a frightful bore it'll be to organise both of their funerals. TAKADA!!"

A very harried and stressed Maid laden down with several bags and suitcases entered the room. Her brown bob was stuck to her face and neck from perspiration, her face red and swollen from the effort of carrying so much.

"Yes Madam?" She ground out through gritted teeth.

"Why is my life so unfair?" sighed Misa. "Hurry and put those away, then make me some tea."

Trying not to roll her eyes, Takada shuffled back outside to obey her Mistress.

 

 

 

Matsuda excitedly jumped off the tram and practically waltzed across the street and into an important looking high rise tower. This was so amazing! Not only was this his first time in a big city, not only was this his first interview, but he was going to meet the, THE Misa-Misa Amane!

Inside the foyer he walked up to a snooty bunch of receptionists, all trying to look very glam and very busy.

"Erm, excuse me?"

They ignored him.

"Excuse me? Miss?"

With a quiet sigh one receptionist deemed herself to look at him archly. She offered a stiff smile given too late to be real. "Yes? May I help you?" she over-emphasised the 'm' in 'may' which would have irritated anyone else but Matsuda.

"Oh yes please!" Matsuda eyes lit up in childlike glee. "I have an appointment with Miss Misa Amane." He practically yelled it, and could not help a furtive glance around the area to see if anyone had noticed. No one looked his way.

Hah! They were probably all too caught up in their jealousy…

"Miss Amane?" She over-pronounced the 'M' again in her incredulity.

He nodded eagerly.

With a raised eyebrow she began to search down a list of names.

"Name?"

"Matsuda Touta Ma'am!"

She gaped momentarily like a fish, before recovering quickly (she did want to make it in the film industry one day.) She beamed a winning, Hollywood smile at him showing off all her dental work. "Welcome Mr Touta. Miss Amane is on the seventh floor in room eight. Our bell boy, Martin…"

Matsuda looked to the left, where the receptionist was gesturing, and leapt. A freckly, red haired boy was standing right next to him, stiff as a board and ready for room-leading action. " _He must have the skills of a ninja,"_ thought Matsuda hazily.

"…will lead you the rest of the way." She finished.

Martin led the way silently, as Matsuda cooed and gasped unrestrainedly at all the art work and sculptures on the walls, as well as all the glam looking people in the corridors. He seemed not to notice their nasty smirks at his country bumpkin suit and obvious naivety.

Martin knocked on a wooden oak door.

"Come in." Drawled a high pitch voice Matsuda recognised.

" _Oh my Gawd!"_ He thought nearly peeing himself with joy.

The door opened and there she was draped so elegantly on a leather settee, the, yes THE Misa-Misa, the Queen of the Dance Halls.

Matsuda gasped and openly stared.

She was even more beautiful in reality! He had only seen her on the silver screen, but in real life she was three-dimensional and all colour and glitter! Her hair was golden, her eyes a brilliant blue, her body slender (he blushed). She was the American Dream girl, most assuredly!

He must have been in some sort of daze because next thing he knew he was sitting down on a leather couch, a glass of bourbon in his hand. He was a little shocked at this as he never drank and this in an interview for the role of in-house tutor! It was hardly appropriate, even though she must have been the one to give it him, and he must have taken it without a second thought. Or even a first thought, as the case may be.

What if it had been a test? She offers him a drink and he should have said no if he wanted to have a chance of getting the job! It was in the heat of the Great Depression and people were turning to alcohol.

He was not one of them! No sir, mama raised him better than that! He hastily placed it back on the table. He did not want to make a bad impression.

During this dilemma, Misa had been mincing around the room, fluffing pillows and other irrelevant activities, constantly talking.

"…but Matt's a real dear," she finished, looking at Matsuda and smiling. He nodded and grinned, not knowing who Matt was. She sat down opposite him. "But little ole Mello will turn up later. Poor dears were orphaned. Their dada, my bother-in-law, killed himself ‘cause he never got over the things he witnessed in the war. Then their poor mama, my dear, dear sister, she killed herself too," Misa related with all the emotion of someone talking about their dead goldfish.

She smiled and gestured to herself. "I'm their only relative, but, I can hardly raise children! I'm young and have a great career; an important too, I'm helping keep America's spirits up!" She squeaked the last word and Matsuda did his patented eager nod.

"D-definitely! My family love watching you-"

"So I sent them to live in a family home in England." Misa interrupted, silencing Matsuda immediately. "It’s been in my family for years. It’s in the countryside, very beautiful and they have all the servants in the world." She sighed. "They're so lucky! They live like Princes. And you will too. So, you want the job?"

"Ah, oh, well…." This was unexpected. Matsuda had prepared himself for a barrage of questions. He was new to the job, inexperienced and young. Yet, she was offering it immediately? And it was based in…?

"…It's in England?" He continued after recovering a little of his wits.

She nodded, still smiling.

"The advert never said…"

The smile faded.

"Mr Touta…ah… Matsuda, can I call you that?"

He nodded as she sat down next to him. He could smell her perfume, feel her body heat…

"Matsuda this is a great opportunity." She pouted. "And you should be impressed that someone of…your background, is being given such an opportunity."

Matsuda understood. He could hardly go back home. His family were suffering under the economic crash and were still suffering the after effects of the horrific World War. Nearly all their money and savings had gone on his education (which despite his best efforts, he had only done moderately well in his exams) and travel costs into L.A.

God knows he could not screw up!

"You’re right, I'll take the job!" He grinned and shook her hand.

"Okies, well there's just one weensy request. I am a busy, busy young woman and I do not want to be disturbed, at any cost." She ground out the last three words, her voice losing it childish charms and becoming serious, low and demanding.

"I do not care if they are being naughty,” she continued, “I do not want letters of praise. Nothing. Nada. It is **your** responsibility. The old tutor…well…I had high hopes and he failed me." She looked at him with those big baby blues. "You won't fail me will you, Matsu?" She coyly stroked his hand whilst making her breathy supplication.

Breathing heavily and blushing, Matsuda assured her he would not let her down. "Good," she crooned, "then in a few months, I might come visit you. It will be sweet; we'll be like mommy and daddy with the children." She was still tracing small circles on his hand with her manicured nails.

"That would be nice, ma'am."

The very next day, Matsuda was on a boat to Winchester, England, to meet his new students, brothers Matt and Mello.

 

 

II

Matsuda had to admit that England wasn't exactly what he had envisioned.

The people, in particular, were not how the movies portrayed them. First of all, they were pretty mean! And secondly, they did not speak very quickly in chopped and concise sentences. Rather, their accents were heavy and dulled and somewhat slurred. Matsuda could barely understand them. He was grateful when he saw the name 'Touta' being held up on a white board by a young, stout woman dressed in a Chauffeur's get up.

It poured down with rain in London. The city and sky were grey.

Even Matsuda and his infinite high spirits were not impervious to all the stress. He had left home for Los Angeles, which was scary enough, but to now go to a different country? It had been- it was- terrifying.

But with his family in economic crisis, what choice did he have? This job paid well, and he had been damned lucky to get it.

He hardly knew a thing about his future pupils other than that they were orphaned siblings who went by the names of Matt and Mello. Damn that distracting bourbon! (He immediately imagined the bourbon with a cartoon face crying and so guiltily retracted the 'damn.')

He tried making some polite conversation with the Chauffer, to both divert himself from his melancholy thoughts and to perhaps glean some information on the boys, but after only a few grunts of recognition, he gave up and fell into a fraught and restless sleep.

 

 

It was in his sleep that strange visions plagued his young and innocent mind. He saw two demons disguised as young boys.

One of them had pale skin with jet black, unruly hair, his eyes as dark and unforgiving as the pits of hell.

The other boy looked like an angel; his hair thick, chestnut brown, his skin containing a healthy bronze glow but his eyes were narrow and conniving.

This child frightened Matsuda the most; he radiated over-possessiveness and above all…corruption. It was the thing, _the sin…_ his father had hated the most. Matsuda shifted, feeling the hate of his father, making him hot and uncomfortable.

Just as Matsuda was planning to run away from them screaming unashamedly, the black-haired youth clutched at his throat and began to choke. Matsuda’s innate humanist and paternal tendencies came to the fore and forgetting his fears he ran to the child.

With the duel perception that dreams could offer their user, Matsuda could see the light-haired boy scowl in displeasure. The black-haired boy was **his**!

He continued towards the dark-haired boy anyway, ignoring that the light-haired boy seemed to get out a black note book and a pen in his anger (a strange way to relieve anger but this _was_ a dream, and another boy was choking and so more deserving of Matsuda's concentration.)

He halted as said boy fell to his knees and began to cough up crumpled bits of paper. It was disgusting. They were all covered in spit and phlegm.

And then, worst of all, with a final throat ripping wretch a large black snake with red criss-cross stripes on its back slithered out of the boy.

Matsuda screamed and stepped back.

The snake hissed and slithered towards him. It was impossibly long, stretching out like an evil shadow, pouring out of the gagging boy’s mouth. The simple fact that something so vile and evil could come out of the mouth of a child, one of the most innocent creations on God’s earth, was more abhorrent than Matsuda could possibly comprehend.

Then the snake opened its mouth and spewed out a large and shiny red apple which itself rolled across the floor a while before settling.

Matsuda felt his hairs on the back of his neck rising in revulsion and horror. However, he was distracted by boyish laughter. The brunet boy came into his line of sight. He put the black note book away in his pocket and picked up the apple. He walked to and stood over the black-haired boy, who was now motionless on the ground. The way the light-haired boy leaned over the dark haired one reminded Matsuda of a picture his father had put on his bedroom wall at home (despite the fact that it terrified Matsuda as a child) that of Satan leering over one of the fallen angels after the Battle of Heaven.

The brunet child grinned at Matsuda, handsomeness emphasised by his bright smile. There was something very evil in that smile. An old evil, old as the hills, as his mother used to say, hiding in a young face. It was an atrocity.

And then the boy took a bite of the disgusting apple.

**CRUNCH!**

 

 

Matsuda woke up in shock. His heart pounded and the light burned his eyes for a moment. Momentarily disorientated, Matsuda began to realise he was rocking slightly side to side. He was in the back seat of a car. The light was pouring in from the windows.

His nightmare already beginning to drain away, Matsuda smiled at the sight. They were now in the country and this was the England he had imagined. Fields separated by hedgerow went on far off into the horizon. Trees adorned each side of the road they drove down. The rain was gone, left behind in that miserable grey city with its scary people and intimidating buildings; the bright yellow orb glittered in the cerulean sky which was littered only by the odd white and fluffy cloud.

"Wow, is this where I'll be living?" He asked the chauffeur, forgetting how reticent she was. She merely nodded and Matsuda nearly peed his pants with glee. After five more minutes of watching his antics in the car mirror, she deemed him worthy of her conversation; it would appear that he was not like the last one…

"Excuse me sir, Mr Touta,"

"YES MA'AM??!"

"…yes…well in a few moments you will see our residence, Applegate Manor. It’ll be just to your left, beyond the trees."

Sure enough, the vast ruby red house came into view. It was huge, dominating the landscape with its vivid colour and enormous size.

"I can see why it’s called _Apple_ -gate," he grinned, "it’s like a big red apple!"

He looked at her expression and amended his sentence to include; "…a really pretty, shiny apple."

She smiled and nodded and Matsuda basked in her approval.

When they arrived and climbed out of the vehicle, Matsuda saw all the servants standing outside in a line, doubtless waiting for his arrival. He flushed; he never knew he was so important! An elderly gentleman who seemed made out of grace he was so dignified in manner and dress, approached him and shook his hand.

"Mr Touta we are so glad you have arrived. My name is Mr Watari and I am the head of all the servants. These are the servants. There aren't as many as they used to be," the man sighed, "what with the war and the economy… You will work most closely with me. I have been the one raising Matt since Mello left for school."

"And the old in-house tutor? The one before me? What happened to him, did he leave without waiting for me to arrive and take over or…?" Matsuda was sure that Miss Misa had mentioned one.

"Ah, well," suddenly the man seemed very anxious and even all of the servants had stiffened as if offended by the question; Matsuda worried if he had done something wrong. After all the English had different sensibilities to the Americans, didn't they? Weren't Americans perceived as brash in Europe? Had he let his nation down by abiding by a stereotype??

Suddenly frightened of causing offence Matsuda tried to apologise, but Mr Watari had begun to speak again, his composure regained. "I'm afraid the last tutor was not up to Applegate standard, but I am certain you will be Sir. What did you think of him Sachiko?" He called jokingly to the chauffer. She smiled and did a thumbs up sign, earning a chuckle from the (now relaxed) servants and Matsuda a hefty slap on the back.

"Welcome home, Mr Touta!"

And Matsuda felt at home, too.

"So, where is Matt?"

"Ah, the young Master likes to play games. I do believe that he is hiding and he wants you to find him."

"Oh wow, first day here and all I have to do is play hide and seek!"

"It is the summer," chuckled the man, "you can have a holiday along with them. Us servants won't tell," he tapped the side of his nose conspiratorially; "dinner will be at six. I will collect you and Master Matt."

Matsuda nodded and, following Watari's advice, went slowly up a large winding staircase. Like when meeting Miss Amane in the Grand Hotel, he was impressed with the art and structure of the building. However, this artwork was very different to that of the hotel. The pictures were mostly of people, all in old fashioned but very grand outfits. They were mostly fair-headed and pale-eyed. He felt like they were watching him disdainfully. "What's this horrible yank doing in our family home?" He could imagine the snorting derisively. Imagine if, in their rage, they decided to haunt him at night, to scare him away?

He shook his head, no time for silly thoughts.

"Matt," he called in a whisper, "Matt? It’s Mr Touta, your in-house tutor! Matt!"

He whipped around as behind him he heard running feet. The hall was empty.

"Matt?" The end of the hall was lit by the warm yellow sunshine, yet it did not have a happy feel to it. It almost felt like a fake happiness, like an illusion, like a trap. He leapt as something touched his back.

Childish laughter followed it. Turning back away from the yellow lit hallway, he saw a small red-headed boy. "You are no good at hide and seek!" The child declared, with no malice tied to it. "It’s alright, we will teach you."

"You and Mello?"

The boy only smiled sweetly, his green eyes wide and innocent.

"Was you behind me a moment ago?" questioned Matsuda. Sometimes children were slow to answering questions and it was better to change track. "I heard you running."

"I don't run, it's not allowed," Said Matt. "Let me show you around. You can see my room if you like."

 

 

Later that night after a day full of fun and wonder, (Matt was like a seven-year-old angel,) Matsuda gave a goodnight and a story to said angel before being led to his bedroom by Mr Watari. He had asked Watari if Mello was as well behaved as Matt, to which Watari gushed that not only was Mello an exemplary well-behaved boy, but his grades were outstanding, his musical talent astonishing and he was quite good looking too to boot.

All in all, Matsuda was in high spirits. He could hardly believe his luck so far! The one thing that caused him some anxiety was that, he was quickly realising that he was going to be doing a lot more than teaching the boys. He was practically a surrogate parent for Matt (and he supposed, Mello too, when he returned from school for the holidays,) plus he was expected to give the servants orders on domestic issues (normally reserved for the Master or Mistress of a home) such as what the menu should be each day and which rooms were to be cleaned for use. Still, the servants seemed nice enough. He was certain they would all be supportive.

The bedroom he was to stay in was as big as his sitting room and kitchen put together at home. (For some reason he had had a strange fear that they were going to put him in a scary dark attic to sleep in. Reality, in this case, was infinitely better than fantasy. Maybe his mind was just a dark place? Hmm…)

In any case, he giggled and rolled on his bed like a big kid, fighting down the urge to actually leap up and down on it. As nice as the servants were, they seemed a little pernickety at times and he figured they would not appreciate a broken bed or lots of noise.

Opening his wardrobe to put away his clothes, he noticed that a single outfit hung alone in there. It was a very simply designed, long sleeve white shirt. Picking it out carefully he examined. Had the servants left it for him? Why would they? And then he saw it, a long black strand of hair. He attentively plucked it from the shirt whose white purity it marred.

Something flashed in the corner of his eye. He looked around quickly. Nothing was there, just his bedroom…but he swore he saw something move. And it had moved towards him. Gulping, he put the shirt back, and even laid the hair back on it. He put his own clothes away, leaving some space between them and the shirt. He would ask the servants to remove it in the morning.

He continued his nightly ritual: dress in night clothes, brush through hair fourteen times, wash face, scrub teeth. It made him feel better that nightly routine he had had since childhood, climbing into his grand bed he promised himself that he would ask for some paper and would write home immediately. He could simply phone home, but he did not want to make an expensive long-distance call when he had only just arrived.

He turned off the lamp next to him plunging the room into darkness. It was as if the house let out a relieved sigh, like all this fake, bright happiness had been wearing a little thin. Matsuda snuggled down into the blankets. It suddenly felt a lot colder…

He broken from his thoughts by a creaking sound. Peeking out of the cupboards, he saw the wardrobe door had opened, just a little. He could see the sleeve of the white shirt sticking out slightly. It shone in the moon light.

Matsuda gripped the blanket whilst admonishing himself for being intimidated by a shirt of all things. Still, he stared at the cupboard, especially the shirt, half daring any monster to reveal itself, half being too scared to look away in case the monster came. Something underneath the shirt sleeve shone. Matsuda frowned and focused in on it. It was circular and….oh God it was an eye. He stared in silence.

And eye, and eye was watching him!

His breathing began to speed up whilst logic ran through his mind trying to keep him sane. "No not an eye, that's impossible. It’s something innocent you are mistaking for an eye.

It blinked.

Matsuda screamed and sat up.

It was morning.

What a nightmare?

He looked about, deeply confused, shivering and sweating. Then he let out a nervous chuckle. _‘It must have been a dream…must have been.’_

Getting up, his confidence renewed in the strength of the sun, he walked boldly up to the wardrobe and ripped it open. There was no shirt.

Then when did he start dreaming? When did the nightmare begin and end?

A knocking on the door distracted him. It was Matt, who wanted to play IMMEDIATELY. Laughing, Matsuda promised they would after breakfast. With a day of activities (and some would just have to be educational, maybe they could study and memorise the name of all the flowers in the garden….?) running through his mind, the nightmare of last night pushed itself into the recesses of Matsuda's happy mind.

 

III

Sure enough after a healthy breakfast with Watari, Matsuda and Matt went into the gardens, Matt running excitedly.

"Alright, what's this one?" Matsuda pointed to a flower.

"It's a Bluebell Mr Matsuda!"

"Yes, but what is its scientific name?"

Matt paused and stared at it.

"You must know," pushed Matsuda, "I would have thought that your old teacher had taught you a few of these already?"

Matt looked at him slightly desperately. "He did. I miss him! Matsuda, I can hardly remember the things he said," Matt looked back at the flower, "he was very sad near the end, Sir. Very sad. He mostly taught us Science."

Matsuda was a little thrown by the sudden change in topic. Maybe the child was still mourning for his departed tutor.

He frowned.

_Mourning?_

It wasn't like the old teacher had died… He decided there to find out more about this other tutor, but not from Matt.

"Well, its summer," he smiled at the boy, "and we will learn all about the wild things of nature. Bluebells are very pretty but are known scientifically as _Hyacinthoides non-scripta."_ He laughed at Matt's facial expression. "Don't worry. You will learn it, with enough practice. Anything I can learn, you can definitely learn! Shall I tell you the story of how Bluebells came to exist?"

Matt nodded eagerly, happy to have a rest from lessons and enjoy a story instead.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful man called Hyancinthus,” Matsuda began, sitting down and pulling Matt on to his lap. “He was Prince of a land far, far away from here. He was so beautiful that two ancient gods fell in love with him- Ah! Errm, I mean, they both wanted to be his best friend!

“Anyway… one was Zephyrus the god of the Western Winds. Though Zephyrus was very handsome and charming, he was also a violent god, often prone to fits of anger and jealousy. Zephyrus wanted to force things to his will; so he would huff and puff and blow down trees and houses! Hyacinthus was a little afraid of him.

“Then the other who loved him was Apollo the sun god. He was made out of pure light. He was kind, intelligent and resourceful. Hyacinthus fell very much in love with him, ah! Erm, as a friend… of course…

“One day, Apollo and Hyacinth were playing with a discus. Do you know what that is? Good. Well, as Apollo threw the discus, Hyacinthus went to catch it, but Zephyrus was hiding and watching. When he saw the fun they were having, he blew his wind in jealous anger. That wind knocked the discus into Hyacinthus, killing the poor Prince instantly. As Zephyrus ran away, Apollo held his Prince and wept.

“Then Hades, the god of Death rose out of the shadows to take the boy to Hades. However, Apollo would not let him. Instead he turned Hyacinthus into a flower. So Hades went away.

“He cried over the flowers turning each of them that mournful colour they are now. We call them Hyacinth after the Prince. And that's the end of our story."

The story ended and the pair sat quietly for a while. The birds chattered in the trees and bushes and in the distance the cows could be heard calling to one another.

"Maybe Apollo should have let Hyacinthus die," said Matt contemplatively, "I mean properly…"

"Why?" Matsuda looked at Matt. The boy was gazing up at the house to the small battlements (which had been added for aesthetic purposes rather than actual battle.) Following his gaze Matsuda saw nothing. But the boy was staring avidly. It wasn't the look of gazing into space due to being deep in thought. Those green eyes were focused, but on what?

"Because," Matt continued, "maybe Hyacinthus did not want to be a flower. If you love someone you are supposed to give them what they want. Maybe it would have been kinder to let him die normally so he could have gone to heaven and been with his family, not stuck forever on earth with nowhere to go. Maybe that's why Bluebells look so sad and droopy, because they are trapped souls." Matt looked away from the house.

"L-lets go find some more flowers to name," said Matsuda, worried about the strange nature of the boy. In the time he had been here, he had not thought it possible for Matt to be sad; he was almost unnaturally good and cheerful. But just now even his language had rapidly altered, most of the time Matt spoke like the young child he was, where just now he sounded exceedingly adult like. Even his pitch had lowered into what was almost a baritone.

Matsuda looked back one last time at the house where Matt had been staring, while his said charge disappeared into a thicket. Matsuda gaped.

There was a man up there!

A man, with brown hair, but he could not make out any more distinct features. He tried to think. With the exception of Watari, all of Applegate’s staff were female. So who _was_ that? Had one of the Maids let in a beau of some sort? And he was now wandering about the house?

Insufferable!

 _He_ was in charge, even of Watari, and yet here random people were being let in on his watch!! What would Misa-Misa think? She would think he was incompetent, that's what!

Chasing after Matt he insisted, despite the boy’s weak and confused protest, that they had to go back inside immediately.

Sending Matt to his room for the moment, Matsuda ran up the stairs onto the battlement. But no one was there. Confused, Matsuda stared for a moment, as if the man might pop out of the ground suddenly. "He must have seen me staring and ran away," he thought before sprinting back downstairs.

Barging into the kitchens Matsuda faced all the servants who were gathered together doing various household chores.

"Did anyone see a man?" asked Matsuda bluntly.

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"There was a man, on the roof tops. A man. With brown hair. Did any of you let a man in?"

The servants gaped stupidly, but the only sound was of one young maid dropping a tray in her hand. She looked about wide eyed, ‘till running out of the room completely.

The servants shrugged as Matsuda gave them a confused glance.

"Who is she?"

"Sayu, Sir."

"When she is…feeling better," he blushed he hated making anyone feel bad, girls in particular, "please tell her to come to the dining room after dinner when Master Matt is in bed. Let her know she isn't in trouble. We just need a talk. If you see Mr Watari please tell him also. I would like him to be there."

"What?" questioned one maid a smirk on her lips, "like a chaperone?"

Matsuda felt his face burning; he hated how easily he blushed. "Er, w-well, y-yes someth-thing like that. It'…it w-would be more pr-proper." Before he could humiliate himself further he marched out of the room.

He heard the unashamed laughter erupt from the kitchen.

Oh well to them being a nice bunch!

He slumped back to Matt's room. This is why he preferred children. There were no hidden personas or nasty undertones to them. They really were the best people on Earth. _"When children go bad,"_ he thought, " _God help us all."_

On his way up, he noticed on the walls that there were a few photographs hidden behind the curtains that he had not spotted the day before. He smiled, wondering if the children had snuck them on there; their own additions to the haughty and intimidating portraits on the walls. Quite a few were of two boys, one being Matt, fishing together or running in the gardens.

Matt looked even smaller than he was now, and the other boy must be Mello. He was taller than Matt, and light haired. He had Matt's strong jaw and angular (but without being too sharp) features.

 _"They are good looking boys,"_ thought Matsuda a little self-consciously. He knew he was not handsome. It was always something that had made him feel a little unsure of himself, especially around attractive people.

Matt wasn't too bad, because like a lot of children he wasn't aware that he was handsome. Looking at the up held head of Mello in the photo's, Matsuda wasn't sure he could say them same of the older boy.

In any case, Matsuda suddenly felt sad that one day these boys would grow up. He would become self-conscious around them when they were adults. Matt was already so outgoing and confident. His brother looked the same. Being around men like that, Matsuda always felt a bit awed and stupid. He had so many stomach-churning memories of the time he made himself look like such a fool in university. All of the boys there had been intelligent and from affluent families. He just could not compete. He had hoped that being of an easy and friendly disposition, that that would give him friends or at least a level of acceptance; instead it had done the opposite. They seemed to despise and deride him the more courteous he was. If only Matt could be a little Lost Boy! Eternally young and innocent!

Forgetting about his memories (some things are better off dead and in the past) he began looking at a few more and saw that some of the pictures had adults in them. One had a man in the background, his figure was blurred but he wore a white shirt, dark slacks and had a mop of jet-black hair that covered his face. Matsuda tensed, remembering the strange dream of last night – that long black hair he pulled from the shirt. The figure had been walking towards the two boys. The strides he was taking, the fisted hands, the lowered head – it was all very ominous.

In another picture, there was Mello staring up avidly at a handsome looking young man. Before he could get a closer look, he heard a scream. The scream of a child.

He ran into Matt's bedroom to see the boy standing completely erect staring at the wall. "What?? What is it?? What made you scream??" Matsuda cried out without giving the boy a chance to explain. He gripped the child’s shoulders in alarm. Matt’s eyes were very round the whites showing all around the emerald irises. Slowly they settled and turned to Matsuda.

"When will Mello be back, Sir?"

"After the Summer term ends," replied Matsuda, confused once more. "In around three weeks. What made you scream?"

"Erm…a spider?"

"A spider?"

"Yes definitely a spider Sir." He offered with sudden confidence. "It was big and brown and scary. But it’s gone now. For now."

 

 

 

Dinner was a mostly silent affair. After the 'spider' scare, they had gone back outside and continued to name plants and learn the stories behind the name. Matsuda found children remembered the names better when they understood their meanings. All the better if there was a fun story or legend added to it. He had been impressed with Matt's memory, by the evening he remembered all the scientific names of the thirty-odd flowers they had studied. But then, maybe Matsuda had simply helped him recall what his old tutor had taught him.

Matt had returned to his usual charming exuberance outside which Matsuda could not help worrying about. The changes in behaviour and speech were too odd. It seemed that Matt was much sadder than he was letting on. Maybe he was not over his parent’s death?

 Misa-Misa, Matsuda had to admit despite his crush, seemed a little less than interested in their welfare. And he had not been told anything about the old tutor other than he wasn't good at his job.

 Scratching his neck nervously, Matsuda spoke to the tired boy.

"Matt, do you know all about Heaven?"

"Yes Sir. It’s where good people go when they die."

"Your parents are there, watching over you and waiting for you to join them after you grow old and die yourself, you know that?"

"Yes Sir," he giggled suddenly, "I like how you speak!"

"You mean my accent?" smiled Matsuda. "It’s because I'm from America, the United States, did the servants tell you that?"

"Watari did." He became glum again as suddenly as the humour had arrived. "When is Mello coming back?"

Matsuda frowned. "I told you earlier, in about three weeks."

"Oh yes, I forgot! Silly me!" The child giggled.

"Do you miss your parents?"

"No, I was too little when they died. I miss Lawliet Sir."

"Who is Lawliet?""

"My old tutor."

"What was he like?"

"He had black hair." Matt swallowed some more food and yawned widely. "Can I go to bed please? I'm very tired."

Matsuda let him go, still feeling tense and confused. However, he did not like questioning children. He would talk to Watari.

As if on cue, Watari entered the room with a wide-eyed maid – Sayu.

"Ah, Miss Sayu, please do not be scared!" Matsuda smiled benevolently and tried not to blush. She was really cute… "Who was that, on the battlement?"

She shot a quick and anxious look at Watari. Matsuda, unusually, understood the cue. "Watari leave us for a moment please?"

He seemed less than happy at this, giving a Sayu a steady glower, but he left the room nonetheless.

"Who was it Sayu? A boyfriend?"

"No Sir. I _hate_ the man you saw!"

"Then who?"

"A man called Light, Sir. Only we mostly knew him under the alias of Kira." She whispered this last word, like it was sacrament. "He was evil, Sir. Pure evil. And he's back to get the children!"

 

 

VI

"Kira?" repeated Matsuda uncertainty in his voice, "I was never told of anyone called Kira…unless…was he the old tutor? Was he expelled from his position? Matt said he was called Law…"

"No, Sir," interrupted the maid, looking tense and uncertain, "Kira was … was a friend of Mistress Amane. She bought him here."

"Why would Miss Amane bring a man of nefarious nature to her family home?"

"I don't think she really knew of his nature, Sir. I think he tricked her, like he did so many women. He was rogue."

"But then why would she bring a man to her home period? It’s very…well," he frowned further realising that he was blushing, again, "well… it’s improper!"

Miss Sayu stood quietly, evidently her fear had not released her tongue so much that she would say what she, and even Matsuda were thinking.

 _"Is Miss Amane really that sort of woman?"_ He thought desperately. His terrifying father had hated all Show Girls and Dancers, calling them prostitutes and whores that would burn in hell, whereas Matsuda had always thought Misa at least was quite wholesome and cheerful. In his mind he had defied his father’s teachings, but, had the old man been right all along? And if he had been right about Amane and the other Show Girls, what else had he been right about…?

Matsuda shook those thoughts away – the past did not matter. What did matter was that there was now a man on the grounds that could get into the house. And this man was, most likely, dangerous.

"He's after the children you say?"

"Yes Sir," continued Sayu. "He has probably chosen to attack now because Mello will soon be home from the holidays." She paused and bit her lip. "May I show you something, Sir?"

Together, they left the room and went into the hallway that led onto the children's rooms. She went to the curtain and pushed it aside.

"I saw these earlier," began Matsuda.

She nodded and pointed to a handsome man he had not remembered seeing before due to the figure being obscured by the curtain. It seemed Matt's scream had pulled him away before he had gotten to look at those photographs more fully.

"This is him Sir; Mistress Amane introduced him to us as Light Yagami." The man in the picture was holding Mello around the waist. He was very good looking (the kind of man that Matsuda always wished he looked like; the sort of boy that Matsuda had to deal with in university, well dressed, well mannered men, all of whom looked at him like he was a worm.) However, this man had a pleasant feel to him. He smiled benevolently at Matsuda and Sayu. "Are you sure he was bad?" Matsuda could scarcely believe it, looking at such a beatific gentleman.

"Mistress Amane left to go on tour, leaving him in charge. He seduced all the girls of the local village, they hate him down there. No one speaks his name. It’s like he was…he is a curse on their lives.

“You notice there are hardly any servants?

“Most of us were female, as you may expect, after the War took all our men, and Light Yagami abused his position as Caretaker and temporary Master of Applegate. He violated the prettiest and youngest girls. I don't think he even was that…attracted to them." She looked at Matsuda tearfully. "It was the power, you see, he loved showing us how little consequence we were to anyone.

“However, it all came to a head, some of the girls fell pregnant and others threatened to tell the police of the assaults. And then," she began to look terrified and gulped audibly, "then the girls began to die, one after another…"

"He- he murdered them??"

"It is a difficult situation to explain. Some of the girls fell in love with him, Takada and Akino killed each other when fighting over him. They were found one morning in the kitchens, both covered in blood. They must have fought and stabbed each other to death. But it was so messy no one could really tell. They were both pregnant.

“Then there was Kyoko, she never loved Light. She loved…well she was a bit enamoured with the tutor actually," she smiled vaguely as if recollecting fond memories, "we used to tease her so much about him…but then Light, no, Kira, got wind of her adoration. Next thing we knew, she had drowned herself in the bath.

“In the following months Halle, Linda and Wendy all died of various accidents. They had threatened to go to the police about his behaviour.

“Finally, one day, a woman called Naomi Misora went up against him. She was the bravest of us all; during the war she had worked with the police force. She was as strong willed and as diligent as any policemen, fireman or soldier I've ever known. She tried to prove that Kira was guilty. She said that the mistake of the last few girls was that they threatened Kira, whereas what we needed to do was band together, get proof of our story and then report him to the authorities. Most of us were too scared to do anything, so she investigated him alone. Whenever he was out with Mello, and he often was, especially at night," she noticed Matsuda's facial expression, “it was apparently so they could go out hunting and having masculine bonding time...” she continued blushing as badly as Matsuda and looking away , "well, that's when she would sneak into his room, to find any scrap of evidence of his crimes. She said criminals were vain creatures, and would always have some kind of trophy or record of their crimes, just for their own sadistic pleasure.

“And, apparently she found something out.

“I was in the pantry with the other women, when she burst in saying she knew Kira was causing all the deaths. She said she had found a notebook in his room, where all their deaths had been written down and planned.

“And just as she was about to say more, she died."

"What just there and then??"

"Yes Sir! She had a heart attack and collapsed! She had had no record of a bad heart, or heart conditions in her family. The coroner said it was a fluke, that sometimes these things happened, that perfectly healthy, young people could just die at times, with no explanation. As always it was swept under the rug and we and our fears were ignored!" She grabbed onto Matsuda's shirt, "but behind her, when she fell, there stood Kira. And he was smirking at her, at us! Smirking!"

"Did Watari do nothing against this man?"

She shook her head, "but what could he do? We were all scared." She grabbed the photo of Mello and Kira from off the wall, pushing it into Matsuda's face.

The smile of the man no longer seemed sweet and innocent. It looked like an arrogant smirk, like a parody of good humour. Matsuda felt like Kira was laughing at him.

"He was around Mello all the time," continued Sayu. "After the death of Naomi, the torture of the servant and village girls stopped being enough for him. He focused all his attention on Mello, Matt and…and Mr Lawliet.

“Mello loved Kira, I'm sure of it. And Kira attached himself to Mello just to spite Mr Lawliet. The tutor was against the amount of time they were together, especially considering Kira's nefarious and lascivious behaviour." She shook her head, "it turned into a war between them. They fought over the children. Mr Lawliet had Matt, Kira had Mello. I think Mr Lawliet was afraid that the children would be tainted by Kira."

"I thought Mello was good," whispered Matsuda, his voice shrunken by shock and fear. "I was told he was a good boy…"

"He was a good boy in the sense that he was obedient Sir. His parents were gone. Miss Amane is never here. Kira gave him attention and…some form of affection. Kira was here just a few months before the tutor and in that time I think a bond had already formed." Her voice took on a darker tone. "I fear that Mello was all too obedient and too willing to learn from Ki-"

" **MISS SAYU!"**

They both leapt at the sound of the clipped English accent.

Watari stood at the end of the hall, his face red with anger.

"Back to the kitchen!" He ordered the girl and she scurried away.

Slowly he came to Matsuda. "Please do not listen to her. She is a very unwell and distressed girl. I will tell you the truth, Mr Touta.

Light could not have come back, for the children or anyone.

Mr Yagami… has been dead for the last two years."

 

V

 

Matsuda stared stupidly.

"He's dead?"

"Yes Sir,” Watari sighed, “I’m afraid you’ve been taken in by a disturbed young mind. Mr Yagami wasn’t a stranger to this house or the village. He was Miss Sayu’s brother. It is true he was something of a rogue," Watari added doubtfully. "I'm sorry you had to hear about his exploits. The girls he…cavorted with were willing, if gullible. And I assure you he was no danger to Matt or Mello; Miss Misa had every right to trust him as much as she did." He walked to Matsuda and wrapped an arm confidentially around his shoulder as they walked back to Matsuda's room. "Trust me, Light was simply a man-about-town. His death was tragic really. He's buried in the local church. It's true the locals are not fond of him, so his grave is placed near the edge."

They stopped outside Matsuda's door. "Why did she say her brother was here and after the boys then?"

Watari looked uncomfortable. "She's not quite right in the mind. We gave her the place out of sympathy. After the death of the father in the war and then Master Light acting so wildly, the level of unfortunate luck destroyed both the mother and the daughter. Giving her a place amongst the staff was the least we could do. Please do not make yourself uneasy Mr Touta."

Matsuda nodded uncertainly before entering his room.

Looking around, he scowled. He disliked this room but felt that he could not ask for another one for his reasons of dislike were, to his mind, stupid. He felt, even after all these weeks, that the room was not his. For some reason, the white shirt and its black strand of hair haunted the back of his mind. Its mysterious disappearance had also irked him to no end. He had considered that one of the maids must have entered his room early in the morning whilst he still slept (he blushed at the thought of a girl in his room) and taken the shirt. But when he plucked up the nerve to ask, all the maids had denied doing so.

Matsuda stared at the wardrobe as he undressed and got into his bed clothes. Its front doors were firmly shut. But Matsuda knew that in then night they would open just a crack; just enough for someone to peek through. But no one was in there.

It was so stupid!

He collapsed onto the bed frustrated.

He hated the fact that he was so stupid and child-like. Imagine, at his age, being frightened of the dark and the monster in the wardrobe!!

Angry tears pricked at his eyes.

Only he would be dumb enough to fall for some scary ghost story a maid would tell him!

A _crazy_ maid at that!

 _"She has to leave tomorrow."_ Matsuda thought glumly. _"I'll make sure that she still receives money, we'll keep her on the pay check, so no one can say we're cruel; but having someone spreading stories like that is unhealthy. What if Matt hears? Plus, Mello will be here in a month, and we cannot have a hysterical maid talking of ghostly reincarnations of her brother.”_

“Besides" he began out loud, "I don't care what he says. There's something funny going on here. Or...at least something funny _has_ happened." He thought back to the pictures on the wall behind the curtain. It was the one of Light, or Kira, with Mello and the old tutor, Mr Lawliet, storming towards them in the background that made him feel the most uneasy. There was something so sinister about the two adults. And that his little, innocent Matt and Mello had been left alone with them! It was shocking really!

What had Miss Misa been thinking? Matsuda was loathe to think badly of his Mistress and crush, but how else was he to feel? The whole set up of leaving her beau and local village bad boy to run amok in her family home with her two young wards was deeply disturbing. And here he was, the fool, the jester, trying to fix a problem that no one would explain to him! He wasn't allowed to contact Misa for help, Watari was telling half truths (he was certain) and the only maid to talk to him was a nut!

Matsuda withheld a sniffle, now wasn't the time to cry like a girl!

But what was he to do?

There was some kind of prowler out there. And this Light character had exposed something to these children, whether bad manners towards women or otherwise...

What was he to do?

Talk to Matt??? He was just a child and potentially traumatised! Besides, how did one approach such a subject?

At some point during his angst-ridden thoughts Matsuda began to fall into an uneasy daze. A couple of tears managed to fall free from his dark eyes.

He began to dream. He remembered weeping on his bed in this same manner as a young boy. His father had beaten him with a cane. Apparently God said, 'use the rod' and Matsuda's father took the Lords word very seriously and very literally. As he wept, his mother, a small and timid creature which had been beaten down by her husband, then the war (and now the depression,) had snuck in, risking a whopping herself, and had stroked his hair, giving his head a little kiss now and then.

As the cane had left his arms and back red, swollen and burning, and after the cane came the darkness, the terrible, suffocating darkness, the smell of burning, acrid and stinging his eyes and nose...the terror...the all encompassing...

Matsuda’s eyes snapped open and sat straight up. He was an adult and on a bed in a foreign land. Heart thumping, he looked to the wardrobe.

The doors were open, like arms welcoming into a dark hug.

 

VI

Matsuda's heart raced. His eyes were wide and unblinking. A sense of unrealness but utter awareness that this was real encompassed his frozen, terrified body.

There was a man in the wardrobe.

He lay slumped in its corner. He wore plain black slacks and a white shirt; the same white shirt Matsuda recognised from his first night. Most tellingly, wild black hair covered the man head, long bangs covering his eyes.

It was Mr. Lawliet.

But how?

"Mr Lawliet?" He asked softly, slowly climbing out of bed. His legs felt shaky, he knew they were betraying the fear he felt. "Mr Lawliet? What are you doing here? Was it you who was on the battlements a few days ago?"

The man did not answer but continued to lay stock still. Matsuda fell on to his knees and began to crawl towards the man, partially so his face was on the same level, partially because of his cowardly legs.

As he came closer, he could see the sharp features of Lawliet. His nose was pointed, he had high cheek bones and his lips were as thin and pale as the rest of his body. Hands than lay limply across his lap and the wardrobe bottom had freakishly long fingers. Looking back to the face, a red line of blood ruined the porcelain skin. Matsuda, forgetting his fear, rushed to the man.

"My God, what is wrong?" Grabbing the man's shoulders he shook the body, making Lawliet’s head roll back. His eyes were closed and deep-set shadows lay underneath them. He suddenly threw up a mixture of blood and vomit. To his credit, Matsuda not only continued to hold him, but knelt down and looked more closely.

"Oh no, it's some sort of...of overdose!"

Matsuda knew little about drugs but before setting off to the city, his grandmother had ranted away to him about what the loser bums and druggies looked like. And boy, this guy sure did fit the bill!

Matsuda wasn't sure if it was marijuana, or heroin or what, but this guy needed help.

"Don't worry," he comforted his unconscious and cold stowaway, "I'm gonna get you help, just hold on."

Running just outside his room, he wrung on several bells hat would lead down to where the servants were. He had never used them before (they were for the Masters and Mistresses of this place, where he felt like a glorified servant,) but this was an emergency.

After pressing it desperately a number of times, he ran back to the man.

What did you do when someone was over-dosing?

Did you lie them back down?

 _"No, no,"_ he thought, " _I can't lay him back, there's sick in his mouth. Oh no he's so cold! Is he already dead? Should I check for a heart beat?"_

But he did not. As little as he wanted to admit it to himself, he just could not bear the idea that here, in his room, someone was lying dead. It was too horrible to consider. Instead, he opted for his almost inexhaustible hope. Somehow this man had to be OK. He did not care why he was here or how he got in; he just needed this man to be alive and saveable.

He heard several feet coming up the stairs loudly and sullenly. Running out of his room, Matsuda came to the edge of the banister of the long winding stairs. Several floors below a maid was idly approaching.

"HURRY!” he screamed, "and get Watari on the way! There's a sick man up here! Hurry!!" The girl immediately began to run as he went back to his charge.

Slightly calmer now knowing that back up was on the way, Matsuda focused on the man. It was definitely Lawliet. Was he the prowler? Matsuda had been certain it had been a good looking brunette, but the sun had been in his eyes when he had looked at the battlements. But what was Lawliet doing here?

"Mr. Touta, what is it??"

Masuda looked up to see Watari and an anxious Maid peeking over his shoulder.

"Isn't it obvious?" cried Matsuda with uncharacteristic but stress induced annoyance, "this man is..."

"What man?" Watari looked at him curiously. "Are you all right Sir? Have you hurt yourself?"

"No, I," Matsuda turned to where Lawliet lay, to see his was cradling in his arms nothing but a white, long sleeve shirt. He paled.

"I'm not insane," he said to Watari immediately. "I'm not! There was a man here! A man! Lawliet! The old teacher was here and he was ill!"

"M-Mr. Touta, I think it would be best for you to lie down...

"No!" Matsuda stood and held out the shirt, "whose is this? It isn't mine! Lawliet was here, in the wardrobe, he had been sick, he was dying!"

The Maid suddenly collapsed.

"Why has she fainted?" Matsuda demanded, "Why? What's happening?"

"You have likely frightened her!" Watari barked, seemingly losing his patience. "There is no Lawliet! He could not have gotten in here!"

"How? And why?"

"Because Lawliet is dead also."

There was a pregnant pause before-

"WHAT???" Matsuda shook his head in disbelief. "This is too crazy. I need to write to Miss Amane." He decided. "Watari, I'm sorry but this is too much."

"You can't write to Miss Amane," pressed Watari in a tone suggesting that Matsuda was some kind of temperamental child he was trying to sooth. "She does not want to be disturbed; you told me yourself that was her specific command."

"Yes but..." Matsuda slumped on the bed, quickly losing his mental resolve. He had promised Miss Amane. That was his job. What would she think of him if he not only disobeyed her but also told her fantastical tales of dead men in his wardrobe that weren't really there?

"Come with me, Matsuda." Said Watari kindly, using the personal first name. "Come with me and I will tell you what I can."

Even though it was eleven-thirty at night, Matsuda and Watari left Applegate side by side, their path lit only by a single lantern Watari held. It seemed the man knew the way, though Matsuda could not help but worry over who might be hiding in the darkness. Something about Applegate spooked him; the hallucinations were disturbing enough, but there was something about the actual landscape and building itself, not evil exactly, but Matsuda felt as if something were...waiting. Like a spider sitting in its web, calmly and collectedly waiting for the fly to get caught.

Through a dark lane they passed into the graveyard of the local church. Matsuda looked up at its crumbling precipices, the moon, fat and full, leering down through the holy towers. In the distance an owl howled and a fox shrieked. He did not like being out at night. Once again, the fact that he was a stranger to this land pressed heavily upon him.

"Mr. Lawliet," began Watari, "was not from here. He was...Italian or Russian or something like that. No one can really remember. What we do remember is that he was very odd, he was not one of us."

"He was different, like me?"

"No, **no** Sir. You are one of us! We consider you to be an ally. It was just, there was always something very wrong about Lawliet, and then when Light arrived there seemed to be some sort of odd obsession between them."

Matsuda thought back to the story of Hyancinthus and Appollo- Lawliet and Light.

"Did the boys know of their...relationship?"

"Obsession Sir, not relationship. It was too twisted, full of mind games and perversions to be called a relationship. I'm certain the boys were fine. They were very young. But was a relief when Lawliet died."

"How did he die?" Matsuda pushed, completely unconvinced that the boys had not been heavily involved in said 'mind games and perversions.' His talk with Matt after the Hyacinthus story was proof enough of that.

However, Watari was clearly going to continue to give half truths; whether it was due to typical British reticence, a desire to protect Miss Amane's and Applegate's good name or whether he was just something of a secretive man, Matsuda did not know nor at this stage care. What he did know was that things were very wrong in Applegate, and that meant bad things for his charges.

"He fell," the elderly gent replied after a brief but heavy pause.

"He _fell_?"

"Down the stairs. He broke his neck."

They paused in front of a grave.

**Light Yagami**

**Beloved son**

**Taken too soon**

**R.I.P**

**1916-1941**

"And he died of a heart attack?"

"He did, very unusual, Sir..."

"So Miss Sayu was correct in some of the things she said?"

"Well, yes Sir..."

Matsuda felt too stressed and tired. But still...

Lawliet’s grave was even further out on the edges of the graveyard than Light’s. His was covered in overgrown hedgerow. But, being foreign, Lawliet probably would have had no family in England. Matsuda could not help but morbidly think of his own grave should he die here. He too would be forgotten.

He shook his head- no time for negative thoughts!

  1. **Lawliet**



**Suicide**

**May God have Mercy on his Soul.**

**Unknown- 1941**

Matsuda slowly looked at Watari.

"Fell down the stairs?" He repeated with more incredulity.

Watari, however, was unruffled. "He may have fallen or thrown himself..."

"Or," interrupted Matsuda, "did he take a load of pills before sitting in the wardrobe to die? What did Kira do to him? Did he break his heart, like he did to all those girls? Is that why Matt is so sad? What did those boys see happen in this house?"

As Watari merely looked at him as if he were a man going insane, Matsuda shook his head before asking to go home. An embarrassed and angry flush was spread across his face. He knew he wasn't losing his mind. He needed to find out what was happening and if his boys were in danger from a horrible past manifesting itself in psychological trauma.

 _"That's it."_ He decided on the silent walk back to Applegate. _"I'm taking control from tomorrow. If the servants won't help then fine, I'll do my own investigation and protect Matt my way."_

 

VII

The following morning, Matsuda, Matt and Watari sat outside on the lawn gently tanning in the golden streams of sunlight, the two elder men watching Matt play with his imaginary comrades.

"Mr. Watari?"

"Yes, Mr. Touta?"

"Please, still call me Matsuda. Watari, I would like Sayu Yagami removed from her station and this house."

Watari looked a little surprised, which automatically made Matsuda feel bad. He cleared his throat ready to defend his decision. "I do not think it's a good idea for someone to be saying such wild stories. Matt might overhear. He's very sensitive about the loss of Mr. Lawliet, regardless of what you or the staff thought of the man, he was loved by Matt." Matsuda tried to ignore the blush on his face. He hated having to put his foot down. In fact, he had never really done it before. However, his duty to protect his charge overcame his innate fears and inferiority complex.

"I understand, Matsuda."

"Thank you."

"No Kira, this way..." exclaimed the childish voice of Matt in the background, causing Matsuda to turn quickly to the boy.

Matt had next to no toys; preferring games such as 'Hide and seek' and 'Granny's footsteps'; games that involved him, rather than having inanimate objects play out scenarios. However that morning, much to Matt's dismay, Matsuda had been reluctant to play anything with him; the terrors of the previous night had left the young American feeling worn out and anxious. Matt, seemingly unaware of his mentor's discomfort, had been reduced to playing with a few fallen apples and some flowers, making them walk and talk as if they were little people.

As Matsuda watched, not noticing a deeply worried looking Watari behind him, he observed Matt holding a crow’s feather and a large dandelion.

"It's this way!" the feather was evidently saying to the dandelion.

"You can't trick me," said the dandelion in a snide and slightly dramatic manner. "You want to me to follow you up there, and then make me fall to my death. I rule death, nay, I am Death!"

"No you're not," argued the feather pragmatically, Matt lowering his voice for its role, "you're just a silly boy whoring yourself to the entire..."

It was at that point that Matsuda scooped up the boy into his arms staring into his face.

"Where did you hear words like that?" Matsuda nearly yelled, Matt cowering in his arms. "Tell me!! Matt, you must never, ever say words like that!! Did someone say those things in front of you?? Tell me!!" Matt shook his head quickly, bewildered at his mentor's sudden change in temperament.

"Put the boy down!" called Watari in alarm, "can't you see your frightening him?"

Matsuda looked down at Matt, the boy’s beautiful eyes were becoming marred by tears. He drew the small child into a tight embrace. "Oh Matt, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." he muttered, kissing the crown of Matt's head."But who is Kira, Matt?"

Matt held up the bright, flamboyant flower as a silent answer, his eyes so wide that the irises were surrounded by white.

Matsuda looked at the dandelion before analysing Matt once more. Something...something was wrong with Matt. Matsuda could read it in the child's eyes and body language. Like this entire house there seemed to be some kind of secret; Matt was hiding something and was too afraid (he could only assume) to tell anyone. There must have been some kind of trauma obviously involving his previous tutor and the wild Light Yagami. Maybe Matt had not understood everything that had happened, but the fact that he was playing out such scenes was proof that they had affected him. He would question the boy no more. At least, not for now.

"I want Sayu removed." He repeated to Watari, his eyes still on his charge. "And I want a meeting with the servants this evening after dinner." He forced a tight smile to Matt, "let's go play together, ok?"

"Ok!" Matt ran off towards the lake- doubtless he would want to ride on the little row boat there. Before he departed, Matsuda gave one last meaningful look at Watari.

Watari, however, kept his face perfectly void of emotion.

 

 

 

 

That evening, whilst Matsuda tucked up a sleepy Matt into bed, Watari had aligned the servants at the bottom of the twisted staircase. His charge safely removed, Matsuda looked down at them; they seemed bored and annoyed. No wonder, they probably resented being made to stay in work a little longer than normal. Besides, Matsuda was quite aware that they did not respect him or see him as a real authority figure. And really, he did not feel like he was either. When applying for this job, he thought his role was merely supposed to be the teacher and carer of two young boys. But instead he was being made to take the role of master. He had been failing in this role so far; his innate timidity and overly-friendly nature had made him act stupidly; but now things had changed. People were lying to him and Matt was suffering. This situation needed sorting before the elder brother arrived on the scene. One thing Matsuda did have confidence in was his ability to do his job as child-carer and tutor, and that was what he was going to do.

"There have been prowlers on the grounds,” he announced to the staff, “I want everyone to be on guard. Do not let anyone who is not a worker here come in. It is my job to watch out for young Matt, and when he arrives, young master Mello. Therefore if I find that anyone has broken this rule, they will be instantly removed." He took in a deep breath; the staff were either avoiding his eyes, or glaring defiantly, as if they were offended at his insinuation that they had let people in.

However, someone _had_ let strangers in; it wasn't like he was seeing things.

"Also I want no more rumours or gossip flying around of the former tutor or of the deceased Mr. Yagami, it is bad for the children." He looked at Watari, "I want it reported to me if any of these rules are broken. You are all dismissed."

The staff left, each looking very angry (which secretly worried Matsuda) but Watari approached him while holding up an envelope, "I believe it is from Miss Amane." He announced stiffly, apparently he was not happy with Matsuda's speech either.

Matsuda's heart leapt into his throat, making him snatch the envelop from Watari in order to cradle it to his chest. "Did you open it?"

"No, Sir," replied Watari, in a dead pan that did not cover his annoyance.

"I'm sorry," Matsuda lowered his shoulders, his guilt over-riding his anxiety, "I'm just a little stressed out, I'm sure you understand."

"Yes Sir," Watari intoned before leaving. Matsuda wanted to stop the man, or at least to call out that he could call him 'Matsuda,' but he refrained. The British had a different way of doing things and maybe...maybe Matsuda had been too friendly. Maybe that was the reason the staff were telling wild ghost stories and allowing prowlers onto the grounds. A few days ago, Matsuda would have never believed that of Watari, but the butler was lying to him also, at least about the guilt of Mr. Yagami, Matsuda was certain of this.

Slowly climbing the stairs he wondered if he was becoming paranoid. "After all," he thought out loud, "I'm all alone in the country. No friends, no family." He stopped in the hallway and looked at the photos of the boys, Light and Lawliet. He focused on Lawliet. "You were alone too. You were alone and something terrible happened. Something that made you..."

Before he could finish his thought, an odd feeling made Matsuda looked to his right; there, young Matt stood in his nightgown.

"You should be in bed little man," he offered a shallow smile briefly; Matt looked...unlike himself. He was bent forward, as if he was slightly hunch backed. His arms were bent, his hands resting flatly (and oddly) at the top of his thighs. His hair was ruffled from night-time sleeping. But the worst part was his eyes; typically Matt avoided eye contact, which Matsuda always put down to shyness, but at this point of time those green eyes bored into his own brown ones and there was no mischievous sparkle, no inquisitive questioning. They were dead; Matt's eyes were dead.

Matsuda felt his throat go very dry.

Slowly the boy’s head tipped to the side, his feather-light hair brushing the one shoulder. He bought his thumb to his lip, and Matsuda wondered if he was about to suck his thumb...

"Wha-what is wrong? Have you had a nightmare, Mattie?"

"I wonder if Mr. Touta knows about Mr. Yagami," muttered Matt, ignoring Matsuda's question. Matsuda wondered if Matt was speaking to himself. But he could not have been- the boy was looking right at him.

"You can call me Matsuda, Matt, now go to sleep."

"He was a bad man." He continued in the same, low, monotone fashion, still ignoring Matsuda's orders. "Mello will be home soon. I question Mr. Touta's ability to keep everyone safe. I see you have a letter from Miss Amane, I would not put much faith in her."

"Matt do not talk of your aunt in that way. Now please go to bed."

Matsuda was beginning to shiver, his fingertips, toes and ears were all becoming very cold. Looking to the window he saw ice on the glass. This was ridiculous; it was the middle of summer! He knew Britain had temperamental weather, but still! Reaching out, he realised that the ice was on the _inside_ the glass.

What?

"Mr. Touta," Matt's voice was low and slow, almost condescending. "Pay attention Mr. Touta. Kira is coming..." Matsuda looked at the boy and nearly screamed. Matt's eyes were wide and had turned black, in the darkness of the evening, his white nightshirt stood out; it almost looked like it was glowing. "Kira is calling Mello. He wants the notebook. The notebook and Mello." Turning his head upright, Matt rubbed his thumb across his lower lip while continuing to speak. "But Mr. Touta is easily seduced...I do not have much hope."

Unable to take it anymore, Matsuda ran to Matt and grabbed his shoulders, not noticing that he had nearly slipped on an icy floor. "What are you on about? I don't understand! What's wrong Matt?" as he shook the boy desperately, the black eyes began to dissipate and were replaced by the beautiful green orbs that belonged to Matt alone.

The child looked about confused and dazed, "what's going on?" he questioned, sleepiness slurring his words, "Why is it so cold?"

Matsuda pulled him into a hug, the icy air already beginning to fade away.

"It's alright Matt," Matsuda comforted the unafraid little boy, who was yawning heavily. "Stay in my room tonight ok?"

"Ok." Matt grinned, ever since Matsuda had arrived and taught him what 'ok' meant, Matt used every opportunity to say the Americanism.

Matsuda looked over at the pictures. In the single one that contained Lawliet, he swore the figure had drawn a little bit closer to the foreground. Matsuda scooped up the boy and ran to his bedroom.

Matt laughed and, unbeknown to the terrified Matsuda, he waved at something or someone still remaining in the dark hallway.

 

VIII

As soon as the morning light began to break through his heavy-set scarlet curtains, Matsuda got up. He had not slept all night; instead every bump, groan, squeak and bang kept him alert and stressed. Little Matt had slept peacefully all night by his side. Matsuda smiled wearily at the crimson head peeking out from under the duvet.

As each noise echoed through the night, Matsuda had tried to find explanations for each one; after all, the house was old, so of course there were noises at night. But what could explain Matt’s behaviour last night? He was, in all but body, a completely different person, and even his small, thin frame, seemed to be twisting and contorting itself to fit another type of physique; one taller but more hunched.

Painfully pulling himself out of bed, he limped over and sat down at his large oak desk. He had been tossing and turning last night, but he hadn’t realised he had done so to the point where he was now sore. However, one of the things Matsuda didn’t know was that the stress and fear he had experienced the night before had frazzled his nerves; it was no wonder he was hurting. Matsuda’s desk was very tidy, mainly because he had little work to do; Matt still wasn’t having real lessons (it was the summer holidays) and Matsuda had yet to receive any letters from his family (‘ _well, they are a busy lot.._.’) instead, in the middle of it the clean space lay the letter Watari had handed him the previous evening. It was from Misa.

Remembering her pretty blonde locks and large blue eyes temporarily made Matsuda blush; then more recent events complete with their accusations and suspicions, forced themselves back to the forefront of his minds, quickly replacing his adolescent-like blush with a sickly white.

Cutting open the letter, his heart still dropped a little at the concise and dismissive note;

_Matsuda, the head master of Mello’s school has written to me. It’s a terrible bore, and I hardly have the time, what with cheering our troops and raising our nation’s spirits, so I’ve forwarded it to you. Remember the rules of your post; you are in charge of their welfare, I do not wish to be informed with the usual trifles and what not._

_See you soon, cutey-pie (oh, I can’t believe I wrote that!)_

_Kisses!_

_Misa Misa.XOXOXOX_

He felt his blush and cursed himself for being so easily manipulated by pretty women. Taking out the next letter, Matsuda feelings, once again, made a massive U-turn.

_Dear Miss Amane,_

_I am afraid that we will be sending Master ‘Mello’ Michael Kheel home early and we will not accept him back at Whammy’s for the new term. Please accept him at Winchester station on the 14 th of this month at eleven-thirty._

_My deepest regrets,_

  1. _Ruvie,_



_Whammy Boys’ Boarding School Headmaster_

Mello was being expelled? But hadn’t Watari been singing the boy’s praises since Matsuda had first arrived; all he had heard about Mello was that he was deeply loved, charismatic, well-behaved and it was implied that he was fought for between Mr. Lawliet and Mr. Yagami?

He read the page over and over again, as if he had missed something vital in the short, ambiguous letter. What had Mello done? To be **_expelled_** , of all the things! The shame of it! Matsuda knew enough to know that Whammys’ was a highly respected school. It would be expected for someone of Mello’s heritage to be educated at the best institutes. With this expulsion, it would be very difficult to get him into a new school of equal repute, especially as the letter had not mentioned or even implied what Mello had done wrong!

Was he violent, rude, slanderous, lazy, a liar?

Matsuda slumped back down on his bed, not noticing that Matt had awoken. Matsuda’s head was filled with his father evangelical rantings of what happened to naughty boys; of all the sins children committed and that terrible things that awaited them lest they admit their crime and seek solace and forgiveness in the LORD.

He was frightened that he would not get Mello into a new, decent school that it would look badly on him when Misa Amane did finally come to inspect his work with the boys. Imagine! Misa Amane arrives the find the oldest boy, expelled from his one school, now residing in a public, low grade school in the local village! The shame of it...

 He was scared that Mello, rather than being another delightful addition to Matt, would be some sort of terrible demonic, wild child. Had Mr. Yagami’s influence worked on this boy? Was Mello also a philanderer? Matsuda recalled the time he had looked wistfully at the photos of the boys, noting how good looking they were, that these good looks would, most likely, eventually lead to them being vain and arrogant. Had this already happened to Mello? And above all else, despite his insistence that he was only a moderate Christian his father’s brutal, dogmatic approach instilled in his bones a fear of God. What would become, he could not help but wonder, of Mello’s _soul_ unless Matsuda’s put him back on the path of righteousness?

Two small arms wrapped themselves around his waist; he turned to see a small smiling face. Matt.

Matsuda ruffled his hair fondly, his fear of last night gone thanks to the present sun and Matt’s warm, emotive eyes.

“Is Mello coming home soon?”

“Yes. Very. Today in fact.”

The boy’s eyes became wide with exultation, “yes! I knew he was coming home!”

“How did you know?”

Matt smiled, but said nothing more. Matsuda never bothered challenging the boy’s silence; he already knew the boy saw more than he let on.

Matsuda had never been more grateful to Matt’s joyous, and overpowering, chatter that day.  Things with Watari were decidedly awkward. One thing that irritated Matsuda was the consistent politeness the various servants had; it seemed to emphasise the fact that they were lying to him on some level; they didn’t like him, and he no longer liked or trusted them, so could not they at least be honest about that?

Instead polite conversation was forced all morning, made bearable only by Matt’s oblivious happy conversation. Matsuda would have questioning Watari’s dedication to Mello, and his insistence that Mello was a well-behaved child; but as Watari was clearly a man who avoided telling Matsuda truths if they were somehow unpleasant, he had no faith that the man would reveal any of Mello’s bad behaviour.

When they finally scrambled into the back of the car, Matsuda breathed a sigh of relief and grinned at Matt, who was telling another adventure that he and his brother had had last summer. Matsuda loved children, they were the best people in the world... this thought immediately bought back his fears of Mello and deviant behaviour. He gulped and looked out the window, ceasing to pay attention to Matt’s prattling. Judging by Matt’s descriptions, Mello was nothing more than a fun, adventurous young man, maybe he was expelled for being too boisterous? It seemed harsh for a boy to be expelled for that, but maybe his school was very strict?

It was another stifling hot day with no breeze. The fields all around them grew corn, and in the midday sun, actually looked like fields of gold.

“Look outside Matt; it looks like Midas has been here!”

Matt looked nonplussed for a moment before, “oh I understand! King Midas! He turned things into gold!”

“That’s right, Matt, well done. We’ll learn a lot more about classical literature when September starts.”

“I can’t wait!”

“Maybe Mello can learn with us.”

“But won’t Mello be back in school by then?” Matt had turned very pale. “He’s too old to be home taught.”

“Well...” Matsuda cleared his throat and plastered a nervous smile on his face. “Well sometimes things change. We’ll talk to aunty Misa and Watari about it, ok?”

Matt allowed a small nod, but did not speak for the rest of the journey, even when prompted by his newly-worried tutor. Considering Matt obviously loved his brother very much, Matsuda couldn’t understand why he would be unhappy with the thought of Mello living at Applegate. Indeed, if Matsuda could not get him into a new school of equal prestige to Whammy’s, and this was likely, he would have no choice but to teach Mello from home, at least until Miss Misa made suitable arrangements.

In the silence, Matsuda began to recall the strange events of the previous night. Matt was a perfect little boy; in all the couple of weeks he had been at Applegate, he had not needed to yell at Matt even once.

 _“In fact,”_ Matsuda thought whilst frowning suspiciously _, “Matt is almost_ unnaturally _well behaved. Last night’s behaviour wasn’t bad...it was very unusual.”_ He gulped and looked at Matt who was staring out the window looking slightly grumpy. Slightly grumpy was the worst offence Matt ever committed, and even then it was over quickly, not like today. Last night, after Matsuda had shaken him, Matt had not remembered anything. It was as if he had been possessed. Then, with all the ice on the inside of the window, and the cold that seemed to emanate out of Matt ... was possession a possible explanation?

Matsuda shook his head, goose pimples affecting his arms despite the scorching heat. Matsuda believed in some supernatural things, he was raised a Christian and believed in heaven and hell...but ghosts, ghosts seemed a little too farfetched. To Matsuda, when people died their souls left this world, were judged and sent to one of two places. His brand of Christianity did not teach purgatory. Granted, many odd things had happened at Applegate; the figure on the battlements, the person he had definitely seen in his wardrobe, both people that were, apparently, dead...but ghosts?

No. There was no obvious link between the things Matsuda thought he saw, and Matt’s behaviour. Maybe Matsuda was too stressed and suffering some delusions and maybe Matt had some sort of...alternative personality. Even that was more likely than ghosts.

The train station was very small and local. In the midday sun, it was essentially deserted; no one wanted to come out in such stifling weather. Matsuda double checked that the decidedly fair and Celtic-looking red-head had on a rather large straw hat (Matt had complained incessantly on wearing it, feeling it made him look silly, and he was unhappy for Mello to see him that way) and in the shade of the station building.

“Where are the other parents?”

Matsuda looked down on Matt. “You are a very observant young man,” he replied, deciding that that was enough information; he didn’t want Matt knowing his brother had been expelled. In fact, he was still uncertain of how to deal with it. Because the Headmaster had revealed nothing, if he asked Mello, Mello could lie and say he had done something that was not that bad. Also, Matsuda did not want to subject the boy to harsh questioning as soon as he arrived home, but would not ignoring the situation be condoning whatever bad action he had committed? Luckily, Matt did not push for more information, and remained still until the train began to pull into the station. Then he leapt up from his seat and began to jump excitedly, making Matsuda laugh. The steam from the train momentarily engulfed the station, making the atmosphere seem vague and mysterious. Matsuda searched (somewhat frantically) until he noticed between the hustle and bustle of exiting passengers, one still person.

A boy, with long (too long for a boy) blond hair and startling blue eyes was staring fixedly at Matsuda. He was so still that he seemed frozen to the spot, his eyes unblinking. No one walked into him or brushed by him, making him move. It was as if he were completely removed from the world around him. It was just him and the tutor. Sound and colour drained away.  Matsuda’s focus seemed forced solely onto this one person. This child that had eyes of an adult. Matsuda felt afraid, not like last night, but more like intimidated, as if he were in the presence of someone far more intelligent and handsome and worldly.

“Mello!”

As Matt ran up to the boy, his hat falling to the ground, and his red hair meeting the Matsuda’s peripheral vision, the spell was broken. The sounds of chattering people, the train pulling away and the commands of the station manager became full volume. The boy, Mello, suddenly grinned, looking like a normal young boy, happy as his little brother ran into his arms. Mello and Matt had similar faces and both were strikingly handsome, but that was all. Their colouring was very different.

Matsuda calmed himself and plastered on a big smile. He was just panicking because of the strange event of last night. Mello certainly looked like a delightful young man. As Matt looked back at him and smiled, so did the elder brother, his smiling sapphire eyes barely concealing their natural sharp flint.

 

IX

The entire ride home the boys giggled and whispered together. On one level Matsuda found the brotherly bond charming, another side of him was (he was ashamed to admit) quite jealous at his exclusion of this. Initially he tried to engage in conversation with them, but it was clear they wanted to speak quietly to one another, so he eventually gave up.  It was kind of pathetic that he felt jealous, but in all fairness, Matt had been the only person Matsuda could be himself with; Matsuda was at a loss with all the adults and had trouble understanding their culture and mannerisms; he often felt like an outsider. Besides all Summer had consisted of Matsuda and Matt playing and learning together. Matt had a lot of respect for Matsuda, so it felt strange, having this other boy now usurp Matsuda’s place as the impressive, older male.

During these ruminations, he noticed that whispering became even more hushed. Turning his head slightly so that the boys were in his peripheral vision, Matsuda noticed Mello handing something to Matt, who promptly hid it in his shirt.

Matsuda turned to them quickly, “what was that?” he demanded.

Both boys smiled sweetly, “what was what?”

“Don’t be cute Matt!” Matsuda was appalled, though he knew Matt evaded the truth a lot, this was a blatant deception- and... it hurt. “I saw Mello hand something to you and you hid it in your shirt!”

Mello chuckled good-naturedly, and relaxed into the car seat, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head. “Calm down Mr. Touta! Can I call you Matsuda, like Matt does?” Matsuda opened his mouth to reply but Mello continued speaking. “It isn’t an issue. I just gave him a gift. He is my little brother and I haven’t seen him in months, ok? That’s what _your people_ say isn’t it? **O.K**?” Mello laughed again, in contrast to the slightly aggressive edge his tone had but moments ago. “What does it stand for? Ok? What does it mean?”

“I don’t know,” Matsuda felt a little confused by Mello’s onslaught. “But I-erm...”

“And?” The adolescent interrupted.

“Excuse me? ‘And’ what?”

“ _And_ can I call you Matsuda??”

“Yes, you can, and do not take that exasperated tone with me. I’m not a schoolmaster but I still warrant respect.” Matsuda huffed feeling put-out, but he wanted to develop less animosity and more peace between them, so decided to compromise. “Alright, I understand you have not seen Matt in a long time, and...”

“Gosh, look at how golden the fields are!” Mello cried with enthusiasm, his eyes widening as he turned to look out the window.

“Matsuda says that Midas has been walking in them!” Matt chirped.

“You know about Greek myth Matt?” Mello looked back at Matsuda, scrutiny giving way to awe, “well, Matsuda, impressive, teaching someone so young the Classics! Thanks to you my little brother will be horribly clever when he enrols in school!”

“Th-th-thank you.” Matsuda found himself blushing under the praise, “but please stop changing-“

“Do you have a stammer Matsuda? Gosh, it’s fun getting to call an adult by their first name, helps me feel like a gentleman, if you know what I mean. And you calling me by my nickname instead of my family name...”

“Nickname?”

“Yes, nickname.” Mello blinked at Matsuda a few times, before actually pointing and laughing, making Matsuda recall horrible childhood memories of bullying, “did you think I was called “Mello”? Who in England would name their child something like that?”

“Maybe Aunty Misa never told him,” Matt replied quietly. Matsuda was simultaneously grateful for the defence and ashamed by his feelings of anger towards Matt for not standing up to Mello with more confidence.

“I like your hair Matsuda.” Mello changed topic again, it was making Matsuda’s head spin a little.

“Erm thank you,” Matsuda suddenly became suspicious. Why would Mello like his hair? It was distinctly ordinary; straight and black. He fingered it nervously, realising suddenly that it had grown quite long, long enough for it to begin kinking at the ends, giving it a slightly wild look. He hadn’t noticed before. Looking over to Matt he saw the boy’s hair was in similar condition. Had he really let them go that much? Were they a laughing stock? Was that why the servants disliked him, because he looked like a ragamuffin and was allowing Matt to look the same way? Was Mello therefore being sarcastic?  Of course he was!

Looking back at the boys he saw they were now engaged in a fast-paced discussion about automobiles.  Matsuda was determined to take back control, “What do you like about my hair?”

Both boys looked at him with blank expressions.

“I beg your pardon?” queried Mello eventually.

Matsuda fought a blush he felt creeping onto his face. “You said a moment ago that you liked my hair. Why? It’s perfectly ordinary I know! And, granted a bit long, but only because Matt and I have been in the fields a lot, by the time Matt begins school it will be cut short.” He said all of this loud enough for the driver to hear; then she could go tell the rest of the staff once they got home.

“Well, alright.” Mello finally replied, his face still blank as he considered Matsuda. It seemed condescending, but Matsuda was uncertain of what to say.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, and Matusda felt as if he had forgotten something... Oh that’s right...the reason why was Mello excluded!

Just as he opened his mouth, Mello finally spoke. “I do like your hair though Matsuda.”

“Erm...well never mind that now...”

“No I really do!” Mello looked at him earnestly, sincerity blazing out of azalea eyes. “Don’t cut your hair. In fact, let it grow a bit longer. “

“Stop teasing me now-“

“You would look more like Lawliet that way.” Mello didn’t face Matsuda as he said this; in fact, a face that had once been so full of emotion was now curiously blank. The boy looked straight ahead. Matsuda cast a nervous glance to Matt. The young boy was looking at his brother mournfully. Slowly he bought his thumb to his mouth and began prodding at his lip.

Matsuda shuddered. The temperature dropped suddenly as the car was cast under the shadow of Applegate.

“Home sweet home,” muttered the blond, straightening his back and crossing his legs.

“You must be happy,” replied Matsuda thinking that Mello, being an orphan, must have felt very displaced without his younger sibling and family home.

“Of course,” Mello turned and smiled. Matsuda recoiled slightly. The smile was more like a smirk, as if Mello was keeping all kinds of secrets. Even worse, it did not seem like it was supposed to be on Mello’s face...

The boy reached out to Matsuda’s face, making the man instinctively flinch back.

( _‘There’s something wrong here...’)_

Mello chuckled in a voice too baritone for his own, “don’t be scared,” he chided, before reaching forward once more and stroking Matsuda’s hair and down the side of his face.“You should definitely let your hair get a little wilder...you aren’t as striking but you do have his boyish charm.”

“Me-Mello what are you-?”

Suddenly, Mello blinked, uncrossed his legs and resumed his slouching position. “Sorry!” He grinned. “I’m just really glad we have another really kind tutor. I’m so excited Mr Touta!”

As he stammered thanks and attempted to get his thoughts back, the brothers got out the car, seemingly completely content and happy, talking together as they entered the house to be greeted by Watari.

Matsuda went to look at the driver, but she had already left the car and was marching to the house also. _“Is she just going to leave the car on the drive?”_ He thought vaguely, his mind still a little stunned.  Matsuda actually felt a little drained. He had never known Matt to be so talkative, though it was Mello who completely held control over the conversation and the topics that came up.  Alone outside, he looked up at Applegate. He had always thought it was a rather jolly looking place, but it seemed somewhat sinister to him now. The house also looked...smug.

 Matsuda shook his head, _“I’m just being paranoid and stupid,”_ he chastised himself, but all the while, a larger part of him was beginning to believe his fears. It was then that Matsuda suddenly realised, he never found out what hidden gift Mello had given Matt or why Mello had been expelled.

**Author's Note:**

> The reason I made the decision to upload the story in this fashion is due to the lack of interest. As I'm sure you guys know, if a fanfic has more chapters than kudos or comments, it gets pushed to the bottom of the pile and no one reads it. So I humbly ask you to please kudos or review. It means a lot to us writers who put in an awful lot of time (this particular fic took me four years to write!) and energy into making something as exciting or fun as possible, whilst keeping within the lore of the original fiction.
> 
> May I ask:  
> Do you think Sayu or Watari are being truthful?  
> Is Matsuda correct or losing his mind?  
> Is Mello a bad guy or misunderstood?  
> What was Light/Kira and Lawliet's relationship?  
> Do you think Light commited the crimes he is accused of?


End file.
